Tips: taking care of yourself
Tips for taking care of yourself

The best thing you can do for your children is to take care of yourself. By taking steps

forward for yourself you will be helping your children as well. Remember out top tip:

You can only take responsibility for yourself, don’t let your co-parent being at a different stage stop you from doing the things that your children need you to.

  • Do things that are just for you – pamper yourself, visit friends, read, find time for yourself and so on.
  • Eat properly and get enough sleep and exercise. There is plenty of help with this, if you can make some positive changes you may feel much better:
  • Try to limit the emotional energy you give to the conflict.
  • Express your feelings by talking to a friend or counsellor. Release the tension by exercising.
  • Although separation is a painful process for parents and children, remember that things change with time.
  • Ask yourself ‘If I’m physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, how can I be available to care for my children?’ Then ask yourself what you can do to make things better seeking help if you need to.
  • Tell yourself that it’s OK to feel angry or sad. You can express your feelings by talking to a friend or counsellor, by joining a support group or by exercising.

If you feel that you are getting stuck with negative emotions or that they keep coming back and are not resolving, you might find that some support from friends or professional help from a counsellor can help. Counsellors will be able to help you name and acknowledge your feelings and to help you find strategies to move on. It is in your children’s’ interest to do this: you feeling better can only help them to feel better with their feelings of loss. You feeling better also lets you listen more clearly to what your children are saying – please see our “Listening to Children” tab for more info.


Sometimes taking practical steps can really help: